Let's Hula

Cooking "hot chips."

I've tried very hard to keep vending machine food away from Tessa. But one day, Baba bought Tessa some "Flaming Cheetos"--Hot Chips, to Tessa, and she was "hooked!" I am using them as incentives for appropriate behavior in her Chinese school and I do get one bag now 1 time a week. At home, we concocted our own "hot chips" with eggs. Tessa made her one of her favorite new dishes!

Tessa loves to play "Tool Girl."

Tessa was Cat in The Hat
for Dr. Suess Day at school.

"Miyayan" (Chinese cartoon) and Tessa have gotten really close this past month. Tessa is calling her her "daughter" and brings her on our walks and some of our errands and trips. Buying this toy was one of my best purchases while in China!

Tessa had her first Piano Concert last month. She did very well!

8 Months!

I let March slip away without blogging a word or a photo, although I've taken over a hundred photos and I've written over a thousand words in my head. It has been an incredibly busy month and one where I think Tessa seems to have matured the most. Her English is remarkable and her "thinking" in an American way has really taken foot. Thankfully, tho, she continues to speak Mandarin, and continues to beg to watch Chinese TV cartoons. And, she seems to be closer to us, her Mama and Baba, than ever.

Tessa is now in soccer, started violin lessons and is back to swimming lessons. Yes, this is in addition to her piano and ballet. We are taking a break from gymnastics until soccer is over. I wanted Tessa to be in an active sport where she could run and be in the sun and she LOVES soccer! Actually, she loves everything I have put her in. I set up about 4 weeks of summer camp-swimming and violin, and I plan to relax and travel a little bit over the summer. Some would argue that I'm over doing it, but I really believe she is developing some incredible skills that will impact her entire educational future.

I've recently "really" learned how behavior is learned. Tessa's negative behavior was skyrocketing about 3-4 weeks ago. I determined it was being influenced by one of her Chinese schools. I've replaced the class with soccer and Tessa's behavior changed dramatically. Even Tessa's teacher has observed that Tessa is more of a sponge than most kids, mimicking a lot of behavior she sees in class. So it is very important that I control Tessa's environment for now until she has found her "self" and feels no need to fit in by doing what others are doing. When we are alone, she is such a warm, affectionate and bright girl. When she gets around some bratty kids, she thinks she has to be just like them. I know this is normal child behavior...I look forward to getting past this stage.

Tessa has had many play dates this month. She attended 2 Birthday parties, saw Jack in the Beanstalk (a play), went to a Brain exhibit, saw the Dragon 3-D movie, went to the Fair, went to the Zoo, and well, that's all I can think of for now....

We also had another visit with Tessa's pediatrician, who is also Chinese. She had expected that Tessa would have gained more weight and height after being on an American diet these past months, so she ordered a Bone Age x-ray. The MD had hoped that Tessa's bone age was younger than her real age. However, her bone age was pretty accurate with her real age and this resulted in a height projection of 4.10 tall or shorter! She recommended I see an Endocrinologist to ensure her hormone levels are normal. So I will, but I won't seek any growth hormone treatments.

And some good news! We found another SWI sister from BeiHai City (4 of 5). Tessa was excited and we look forward to meeting her soon!

I am loving the job and role of being a mother. I learn everyday about myself, just how really special children are and how adults really impact their future. Tessa proves to be more amazing everyday!

Some of my favorite pictures of our Tessa

Tessa is wearing some "big sister (Jingju) hand me down" clothes and looks great!

Baba's Bday Cake

Tessa sang Happy Birthday to BaBa.
We are still surprised she has not transitioned
into calling us "Mom & Dad,"
but we like Mama and Baba; it is very unique.

Our Valentine

OMG! Pulled her hair back for our dinner out for Baba's Bday;
She looks so much older!!
We had a great time at PF Changs.
Tessa liked it so much, she asked to go back the next day...
ok, my food can't be that bad...

Tessa LOVES Tom & Jerry! I am able to find boxes of Chinese CDs on Ebay.

Year of the Tiger!(Chinese Class)

Our Amazing Tessa!

Yardstick Kung Fu

Tessa was drawn to this yardstick
her first day home and it has continued
to be one of her favorite "toys."
Looks like she could be a Kung Fu star one day?

Tessa's First Violin

Aunt Becky sent Tessa her first violin.

Tessa was so excited about it;
she put it near her bedside at bedtime
and opened the case several times to touch it.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Tessa's K-1 Mandarin class performed for the parents for the Chinese New Year.
They sang 13 songs in Mandarin. It was fabulous!!

The class got the golden opportunity to have a dragon dance performance just for them.

Tessa and I attended the Shen Yun Performance in Ft. Lauderdale.
She loved it!!

Playing a famous Chinese cartoon character in female form:
"Monkey Queen" (and wearing JingJu handmedowns!!)

Yanni brought her bike this past visit. The girls had a great time playing Wii, watching Chinese movies, going to ChuckECheese and being with eachother again!

Oh! so much has happened these past few weeks. I blog in my head everyday, but just can't find the energy at night to type it. I have learned so much about myself, about being a parent and about being a mother to Tessa, who has now found comfort in every segment of her life and has tested some boundaries. She continues to be an absolutely amazing child who is thinking all of the time, so I really need to be on the "ball" all of the time...and this is tiring....

Everyday is a journey! Tessa has grown and matured so much just in these past few weeks. She hears every whisper I make and understands my intentions, my disappointment and my pride. Tessa is reading now, writing and made straight As this semester! I am really just shocked at her ability to learn so quickly. She loves reading now and asks to read a book together quite often.

And as much as I have her in all these Chinese classes, I fear she is losing her ability to write Chinese. I'm told she is still speaking Mandarin very well, so that is good.

Tessa has had many playdates and these have given me the opportunity to observe and work on Tessa's aggressive play. She is sharing a little better, but this is when I am around; it is a different story, or picture really, when I'm not around...not pretty.

Just this past weekend was a turning point with me. I was so frustrated with Tessa's increasing defiance and obstinance, that I was about to start her on a behavior chart. But I found myself yelling more than I knew I should be, reacting too harshly (and knowing better) and just getting to a place that was ugly. So on Sunday I softly talked to Tessa and said I was going to try really hard not to yell anymore. Well, her behavior improved 50% that day...I talked to her softly about some of her defiance and she reacted so much better. On Monday, her behavior was 100% better. So, like I knew already, by changing my behavior, I changed Tessa's behavior.
Ok, so really...can it be that easy? No, it takes work not to react the way I really want to!! But I hope with practice, I'm gonna get good at it!! And with this experience, I hope, later, I can better help other families.

I've also learned how important SLEEP is for children! During Yanni's visit last month, I kept Tessa up with her so they could play. Tessa had school the next day (Yanni was off). That following morning, I did not recognize my child. She could have been one of many who have walked into the clinic I used to work at, with symptoms of inattention, fidgeting, poor concentration, easily distracted, disruptive, aggressive.....yes...symptoms that MD's treat with with ADHD drugs! I did a lot of reading after I saw this incredible metamorphesis and can't believe I didn't know this earlier. Now, Tessa is getting 11 hours of sleep a night!

Tessa and I attended a lot of Chinese New Year festivities. She has enjoyed all of them and I think exposing her to the arts, dance and culture has really renewed her appreciation of the place she used to live. She really enjoys watching Chinese dance!!

And! We finally got to meet some of the many adopted children and Moms in South Florida at a great gathering at Barnes Park. Tessa knew at least 5 girls already, who are her friends, so she had a blast! Unfortunately, I charged my camera for the event and left it on my computer......we are looking forward to the next event!!

Family Birthday Cake Celebration!

Tessa enjoyed her 2nd cake!

Birth of Family Cake Celebration!

The Birthday cake we sent Tessa on her 6th Birthday while still in China made such an impact on her! She has been asking for another one just for her (we've been to several parties since she has been home).  So I spontaneously decided to get a small one. Then it occurred to me we should celebrate the birth of our family 6 months ago! So we did! Tessa picked out the nice cake!

Our Singing & Dancing Joy

Here's my singing beauty! She is enjoying some jazzy songs in the car right now (Singing in the Rain, Zippity Do Dah, etc.) and I can't wait til she is able to sing those songs acapello. Gonna start singing some Beatles songs soon.

Six Months

It has been six awesome months since the day we all became a family in China. Tessa continues to be an amazing, amazing special child. She still enjoys helping Mama and Baba-she helps to fold her clothes, helps put them away, she likes to sweep, puts her things away and helps with the pets. She is more affectionate and attached than ever before...always talking about how thankful she is, how in China she did not have a Mama and Baba.....And for the first time, she said she missed China! She said it at a time when I had said to myself that she had not said she wanted to go back to China yet...this was after watching the trailer of a new documentary movie of the adoption of an 8 y/o last year (http://woainimommy.com/). In the car, she said "Bye bye Mama, Baba, Mocha, Molly, Misty." I asked where are you going? She said "China, I miss everybody." I explored who specifically she missed, then she said "Oh, Jing ju and Yanni not in China" an then she said did not want to go back, but did want to go back to New York!! I let her know that we will go back to China one day and will be going back to New York soon, and she got very excited!

I think that some of the reasons that Tessa has adapted and attached to us so well is because I have some Asian features and Tessa felt some comfort with that familiarity. But today I felt awkward....she asked me why I didn't speak Chinese. I couldn't really offer her an explanation, at the time....but I feel her thinking is leading to more adoption talk. Several folks have tried to persuade me to learn Chinese...but I can barely say the name of her province the correct way....and her I am in Miami, and can't speak Spanish either....I would speak 5 languages if I believed I had the ability....it is more important to me that Tessa continue to speak Mandarin, so I am putting my efforts and doing my best for her. When we first got home, there were many who said it would be impossible for her to continue to speak Mandarin if I didn't speak Mandarin....I have already proven them wrong!

Tessa has been talking more and more of her life in China and seems to right on track with Jing ju who started to share her experiences around 6 months home. She talks about mostly good experiences of her interactions with the other kids and the nannies. She has not shared any fears or times where she was scared (a real contrast to our American kids in our foster care system). She is a real showcase for the Half the Sky Program that she was very fortunate to be a part of in her orphanage. It is an awesome program.

We dropped Dance at school...I couldn't understand why a rap song was chosen for their dance practice...of all the beautiful children's songs to select from! I understand that Tessa will be exposed to a lot of things that I prefer she not be, but I think the reason she is the way she is, is because she has been sheltered and protected from a lot of the commercialism, materialism and violence that exists in our culture.

Tessa is simply an incredible child. I am very, very lucky to have her and to have a husband that has been wonderful with her-they adore each other!! I am very, very thankful.
It has been the best 6 months of my life!!

A Chuck E Cheese Experience

Tessa had her first experience at Chuck E Cheese! We went to help celebrate Sienna's 2nd birthday. Wow, it was very overstimulating in there and Tessa got real wound up. But she had fun! Here she is having a healthy breakfast on the day she filled up on pizza for lunch...yes breakfast! She loves vegetables and asks for them in the morning, so I oblige when I can.
We will probably go to Chuck E Cheese again, during the week, tho. The 25 cent rides are great!

Seaquarium Winter Wonderland

I took Tessa to the Seaquarium Winter Wonderland on the last day of the carnival. She loved the park, as I had mixed feelings about the shows. But today was Tessa's first Ferris Wheel ride! Some of the rides, she was not tall enough for, but we enjoyed some really fun ones together! I'm looking forward to going to Disney!

Tessa Can Read!

It is hard to believe, yet she does a very good job reading!
This is her first book and I just had to record it and brag!

Their Last Day.....til the next trip!

What a wonderful and joyous reunion!

At Grand Central Station again...this time to say goodbye....or so long.... the girls are getting ready to line up and hold each other's clothes, like they did in China.

Mamas with their daughters!

Tessa getting a little bossy during a Tic Tac Toe game in the lobby of the W.

BeiHai Girls in New York II

The girls saw and enjoyed immensely "The Lion King" at the Minkoff Theatre in Times Square. Tessa liked it so much, she watched the movie when we got back and has been singing the theme song!

First Night on Broadway!

Nothing better than hot soup with your best friends in New York

RUE 57, YUM!

At the Plaza Hotel again, having tea with Jing Ju in Eloise's Room

In FAO Schwartz

Dancing inside the Plaza Hotel

Bei Hai Girls in New York!! I

In the Rose Room at the Plaza, after the girls drank their hot chocolate.

In front of the Christmas Tree at the Plaza Hotel

Jing ju and Yanni have done this before as they knew exactly how to lift Tessa up!

In Rockefeller Center singing "O Christmas Tree"

The girls gazing in awe in front of the Lord and Taylor windows.

We enjoyed a late lunch at the Mafa Tofu Chinese Restaurant just across the street.

Cha Cha Cha! Actually, the girls are marching...something they did in their SWI in China.

Tessa, Yanni & Jing Ju: Together Again

How wonderful this must have been for each of them. It was very warming to my heart for this reunion to happen for them. It was like they had never left each other! Yet they had a lot to share about their new lives. They each beamed with joy!! As did us Mamas!!